Today’s Topic
Write about the best party you’ve ever attended. Why was it great? Is there anything you could do to make it better?
Writing / 정필규 2021. 07. 14
Today's world, because of the virus, it is too hard that meeting people for party. The Korean government made policy, which was started yesterday, that every Korean should not meet more than 2 people from 6 p.m. to 5 a.m.(next day). Also they should not gather more than 4 people from 5 a.m. to 6 p.m. By the way, the Europe held uefa Euro-2020 and many people watched play without wearing masks.
2 months ago, under 8 family gathered at my grandmother's birthday. It is latest party I have ever attended recently.
When I was exchange student in America, I have ever attended lot of party. One of them, there were table with alcohol and stage for dancing in the school. I thought that table is sharing and everyone can use that. So, I have any table for seating. But, It was not public. Owner who was drunken appeared. So, We cheered together and danced at the stage. Actually, She was very pretty and had blend hair with white skin. I had never danced blues, it was my first time. She made me put my hand on her waist. Even this memory is too old, but I can not forget.
Revised Writing
Today's world, because of the virus, it is too hard that meeting people for party (BETTER: Because of the virus, nowadays, it is too hard to meet people for a party). The Korean government made policy, which was started yesterday, that every Korean should not meet more than 2 people from 6 p.m. to 5 a.m.(next day) (BETTER: Yesterday, the Korean government enacted a policy wherein every Korean can only meet at most two people from 6 p.m. to 5 a.m. the next day). Also(,) they should not gather more than 4 people (not more than four people can gather) from 5 a.m. to 6 p.m. By the way, the Europe held uefa Euro-2020 and many people watched play without wearing masks. (BETTER: This situation is quite saddening, since Europe has recently held the UEFA Euro 2020 and many watch the games without wearing masks.)
2 months ago, (Two months ago,) under 8 family (our family of less than eight people) gathered at my grandmother's birthday. It is (was) latest party I have ever(X) attended recently.
When I was (an) exchange student in America, I have ever(X) attended lot of party (parties). (In) One (one) of them, there were table with(s) alcohol and (a) stage for dancing in the school. I thought that table is (for) sharing and everyone can use that. So, (So) I (can) have any table for seating (sitting). But, It (But it) was not public. (The) Owner (owner,) who was drunken(,) appeared. So, We (So we) cheered together and danced at the stage. Actually, She (she) was very pretty and had blend hair (blonde hair) with white skin. I had never danced blues, it was my first time. She made me put my hand on her waist. Even this memory is too old, but I can not (cannot) forget (it).
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TIP: EVER
Ever: at any time
Questions
We use ever in questions:
Has he ever scored a goal before? (at any time in his life)
Do you ever dream about winning the lottery?
Have you ever heard of The Ivy restaurant?
Negatives
We can use not … ever in negatives, but never is more common than not ever:
He has not scored a goal ever. (= He has never scored a goal.)
We haven’t ever had a problem with noise in the neighborhood before or We’ve never had a problem with noise …
We use ever in negative statements with words like no one, nobody and hardly:
No one ever told me what had happened.
I have hardly ever eaten Vietnamese food.
NOTE: We do not use "ever" in positive statements; however, we can use "ever so" if we want to add emphasis:
"Ever so" and "ever such"
We use ever before so and such to add emphasis:
I feel ever so cold.
He was ever such a kind man.
Re-Writing / 정필규
Because of the virus, nowadays, it is too hard to meet people for a party. Yesterday, the Korean government enacted a policy wherein every Korean can only meet at most two people from 6 p.m. to 5 a.m. the next day. Also, not more than four people can gather from 5 a.m. to 6 p.m. This situation is quite saddening, since Europe has recently held the UEFA Euro 2020 and many watch the games without wearing masks.
Two months ago, our family of less than eight people gathered at my grandmother's birthday. It was latest party I have attended recently.
When I was an exchange student in America, I have attended lot of parties. In one of them, there were table with alcohol and a stage for dancing in the school. I thought that table is for sharing and everyone can use that. So I can have any table for sitting. But it was not public. The owner, who was drunken, appeared. So we cheered together and danced at the stage. Actually, she was very pretty and had blonde hair with white skin. I had never danced blues, it was my first time. She made me put my hand on her waist. Even this memory is too old, I cannot forget it.
문법 & 문장 교정
- John participating at party last night.
- BETTER John participated in a party last night.
- When I have been United States, I had a jet lag between Korea and US.
- Just slept at a day.
- I woke at the night for a week.
마무리
쓰면 쓸수록 느는 것이 맞나? 싶은 의문이 들긴 하지만 그래도 영어 연습해본다 생각하며 쓰고 있다. 아마도 나의 에세이를 읽으며 교정해주시는 선생님은 정말 대단하신 분이라는 생각이 들곤 한다. 감사합니다 선생님!