Today’s Topic
What are you most satisfied with in your life? What are you most dissatisfied with? Give details to support your answers.
Writing / 정필규 2021. 10. 08
I like that feeling sense of accomplishment after settle a goal and make effort for fulfilling goal. When I feel sense of accomplishment, I am satisfied. I have several experience about satisfying. Let me talk about this.
First, about my work field. Until I was first grade in high school, my dream job was English teacher. However, after listened My father said how about go to natural sciences. Normally, there were two kinds of class, natural sciences and liberal arts. In general, students in liberal arts are very hart to find job in Korea. I think that is why he said to me, "select natural sciences". And he gave me a book which name is "I am programmer". I was impressed in the book. Finally, I have would major in Computer engineering. After graduate university, of course, I am working at a software company.
Second, this part is not executed yet. Already, I am working at the company, I always think, I am not full yet. I am not sure why. So, I am studying many things. Reading a books, Studying programming language again, Studying how to architect software, Studying for get license. I will satisfy from fulfill these things.\
Revised Writing
I like that(X) feeling (a) sense of accomplishment after settle a(setting a) goal and make effort for fulfilling (the) goal. When I feel (a) sense of accomplishment, I am satisfied(OR: contented). I have several experience about satisfying(satisfying experiences). Let me talk about this. First, about my work field.
Until I was (in) first grade(first-grade) in(X) high school, my dream job was (to be an) English teacher. However, after (I) listened (to what) My(my) father said(, which is,) how("How) about go to natural sciences.(?) Normally, there were(it has) two kinds of class,(classes:) natural sciences and liberal arts. In general, students in liberal arts are very hart(find it very hard) to find (a) job in Korea.(") I think that is why he said to me, "select natural sciences"(BETTER: advised me choose natural sciences). And he gave me a book which name is(entitled) "I am programmer"(I am a programmer).
I was impressed in(by) the book. Finally, I have would major(majored) in Computer(computer) engineering. After(Since I) graduate(graduated from) university, of course, I am(have been) working at a software company. Second, this part is not executed yet. Already, I am working(I am already working) at the(a) company, I always think,(X) I am not full(fulfilled) yet. I am not sure why. So,(X) I am studying many things. Reading a(X) books, Studying(studying) programming language again, Studying(studying) how to (operate the) architect software, (and) Studying(studying) for get(the) license (exam). I will (be) satisfy(satisfied) from(by) fulfill(fulfilling) these things.
Thank you for completing the activity! You were able to mention many key points from the article. Also, you added details that show your great comprehension of the topic. Try to enrich your vocabulary and review your articles and prepositions to effectively express your ideas. You can look up the dictionary to learn new words every day. Good luck on your future writing activities! :)
Re-Writing / 정필규
I like feeling a sense of accomplishment after setting a goal and make effort for fulfilling the goal. When I feel a sense of accomplishment, I am contented. I have several satisfying experiences. Let me talk about this. First, about my work field.
Until I was in first-grade high school, my dream job was to be an English teacher. However, after I listened to what my father said, which is, "How about go to natural sciences? Normally, it has two kinds of classes: natural sciences and liberal arts. In general, students in liberal arts find it very hard to find a job in Korea." I think that is why he advised me choose natural sciences. And he gave me a book entitled I am a programmer.
I was impressed by the book. Finally, I majored in computer engineering. Since I graduated from university, of course, I have been working at a software company. Second, this part is not executed yet. I am already working at a company, I always think I am not fulfilled yet. I am not sure why. So I am studying many things. Reading books, studying programming language again, studying how to operate the architect software, and studying for the license exam. I will be satisfied by fulfilling these things.
문법 & 문장 교정
- We make rock shape balancing.
- BETTER We did rock balancing.
- It's the big mountain highest mountain in Korea.
- BETTER It's the highest mountain in Korea.
- It was an experience.
- BETTER It was once in a life time opportunity. (SIMILAR)
