English Writing Practice

[EWP] 정규회화과정 Level 7-8 : Unit 21. I Feel Like Changing My Appearance. STEP 4. 1:1 글쓰기

anothel 2021. 7. 19.

Today’s Topic

Have you ever wanted to change your fashion style? If there was, how did you change it?

 

Writing / 정필규 2021. 07. 16


The people(example, Jobs or Zuckerberg etc.) who tend to be expert of their field wear only one fashion. I heard they don't want to waste time for agonizing about the fashion. I was impressed with this.
One day, I have wanted to change my fashion. I have gotten consult from my friend, who major in fashion and always interested in fashion, and have bought lots of clothes. That's all. Actually clothes that I bought made me uncomfortable even if I paid much. So, I have stopped buying clothes and changing my fashion instead of paying a lot of money.
These days, I am normally wearing black T-shirts and blue jean with comfortable shoes since 2017. I have 5 to 7 black short T-shirts and 5 to 7 jeans. I don't have to waste my time for selecting how to wear because every clothes is similar. This fashion makes me be comfortable. By the way, I can see many people who are wearing black T-shirts and light blue jeans with comfortable shoes. Even I have selected this fashion since 2017, many people followed this fashion eventually.
I don't have any idea for changing my fashion. Because I like my fashion.

 

Revised Writing


The people(example, Jobs or Zuckerberg etc.) who tend to be (an) expert of their field wear only one fashion (style). (BETTER: Experts in their field, like Steve Jobs or Mark Zuckerberg, tend to only have a simple fashion style.) I heard they don't want to waste time for agonizing about the(X) fashion. I was impressed with this.

One day, I have(X) wanted to change my fashion. I have gotten consult from (consulted) my friend, who major(ed) in fashion and (is) always interested in fashion, and have(X) bought lots of clothes. That's all. Actually(,) clothes that I bought made me uncomfortable even if I paid much. So,(X) I have stopped buying clothes and changing my fashion instead of paying a lot of money.

These days, I am normally wearing black T-shirts and blue jean(s) with comfortable shoes since 2017(X). I have 5 to 7 (five to seven) black short (short-sleeved black) T-shirts and 5 to 7 (five to seven) jeans. I don't have to waste my time for selecting how (what) to wear because every clothes (piece of clothing) is similar. This fashion (style) makes me be (feel) comfortable. By the way, I can see many people who are wearing black T-shirts and light blue jeans with comfortable shoes. Even I have selected this fashion since 2017, many people followed this fashion eventually.

I don't have any idea for changing my fashion (style) B(b)ecause I like my fashion (style).


Your effort to write here is greatly appreciated! We believe you went the extra mile just to finish this entry. We found some errors, but having accomplished this task is already a success. Just review the corrections and the following tips:

VERBS: Time Expressions for Present Continuous
PATTERN: am/is/are + verb~ing

(Notice that the time expression can come at the start or at the end of the sentence.)

At the moment: I’m watching TV at the moment.
These days: Paul is living in Cardiff these days.
Now: What are you doing now?
Nowadays: I think you are smoking too much nowadays.

each or every

Adding each or every before a noun makes the noun singular. Always use a singular noun:

    (X) each children

    (X) every children

    (O) each child

    (O) every child

one day

- at some time in the future:

    I’d like to go to Mexico again one day.

- at a particular but unspecified time in the past.

    One day, a boy started teasing Jenny.



We believe these tips can help you a lot. Keep on expressing yourself and keep on writing! :)

 

Re-Writing / 정필규


Experts in their field, like Steve Jobs or Mark Zuckerberg, tend to only have a simple fashion style. I heard they don't want to waste time for agonizing about fashion. I was impressed with this.
One day, I wanted to change my fashion. I consulted my friend, who majored in fashion ans is always in fashion, and bought lots of clothes. That's all. Actually, clothes that I bought made me uncomfortable even if I paid mush. So I have stopped buying clothes and changing my fashion my fashion instead of paying a lot of money.
These days, I am normally wearing black T-shirts and blue jeans with comfortable shoes. I have five to seven short-sleeved black T-shirts and five to seven jeans. I don't have to waste my time for selecting what to wear because every piece of clothing is similar. This fashion style makes me feel comfortable. By the way, I can see many people who are wearing black T-shirts and light blue jeans with comfortable shoes. Even I have selected this fashion since 2017, many people followed this fashion eventually.
I don't have any idea for changing my fashion style because I like my fashion style.

 

문법 & 문장 교정


  • Person B is gpnna have surgery eyes.
  • I will staying in my home.
    • BETTER I will stay at home.
  • I will stay at home.
    • BETTER I will linger at home. (SIMILAR)

 

마무리


스타일에 관련해서 글을 썼다. 옷을 별로 사진 않지만, 옷을 구입하는 데에 있어서 가장 고민하는 부분이 있다면, 편리함이었던 것 같다. 그것도 일하는 데에 편한 옷. 소프트웨어 엔지니어의 직업적인 특성상 앉아서 일하는 시간이 많은데, 너무 딱 달라붙는 바지는 오래 앉아있기에 불편하다. 그래서 조금 더 펑퍼짐한 바지와 검은색 라운드 티셔츠를 입곤 한다. 너무 검은색 티쳐 츠만 있는 거 같아서 다음엔 흰색 티셔츠도 골라봐야겠다. 아울러,

미숙한 저의 에세이를 교정해주셔서 감사합니다 선생님!

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