English Writing Practice

[EWP] 정규회화과정 Level 7-8 : Unit 25. You Have Such a Long Face. STEP 4. 1:1 글쓰기

anothel 2021. 10. 11.

Today’s Topic

When was the last time you had a long face? What was wrong? How did you fix the problem?

 

Writing / 정필규 2021. 10. 10


I will marry my girl friend soon. In fact, We bought first home as newly-wed couple before discuss about marriage. She and I gather the money together for buying the house. She got mortgage loan from her company and bank. Also, I got it from my father and bank. Actually, We were not full for buying a house by ourselves, however, we have scraped together with difficulty. Finally, We live together from next month. So, we say hello to our parents before living together. Before this point, My father has told me about wedding date and region that he wants. And I have should deliver his opinion to girl friend's parents. But, I didn't. So, he was angry. After deliver his opinion to my girl friend, she was angry. Because of my chain of fault, I was in an awkward situation between my girl friend and father. For fix the problem, I asked for his forgiveness firstly. I told my mistake and deliver her opinion to my father. And I asked for her forgiveness secondly. After this, everything became quiet. At this situation, I realized that if I have fault, I should ask for their forgiveness firstly.

 

Revised Writing


I will marry my girl friend(girlfriend) soon. In fact, We bought (our) first home as(when we become a) newly-wed couple before discuss(we had discussed) about marriage. She and I gather(saved) the money together for buying(to buy) the house. She got mortgage loan(loans) from her company and (a) bank. Also, I got it(mine) from my father and (a) bank. Actually, We were not full for buying a(we did not pay the) house (in full) by ourselves, however,(but) we have scraped together with difficulty. Finally, We(we will) live together from next month. So,(So) we (should) say hello to our parents before living together. Before this point, My(my) father has(x) told me about (the) wedding date and (the) region that he wants(wanted). And I have should deliver(should have delivered) his opinion to girl friend's(girlfriend's) parents. But,(But) I didn't. So,(So) he was angry. After deliver(I delivered) his opinion to my girl friend,(girlfriend,) she was(BETTER: got) angry. Because of my chain of fault, I was in an awkward situation between my girl friend(girlfriend) and father. For(To) fix the problem, I asked for his forgiveness firstly. I told my mistake and deliver(delivered) her opinion to my father. And I asked for her forgiveness secondly. After this, everything became quiet. At this situation, I realized that if I have fault, I should ask for their forgiveness firstly.

 

Re-Writing / 정필규


I will marry my girlfriend soon. In fact, We bought our first home when we become a newly-wed couple before we had discussed about marriage. She and I saved the money together to buy the house. She got mortgage loans from her company and a bank. Also, I got mine from my father and a bank. Actually, we did not pay the house in full by ourselves, but we have scraped together with difficulty. Finally, we will live together from next month. So we should say hello to our parents before living together. Before this point, my father told me about the wedding date and the region that he wanted. And I should have delivered his opinion to girlfriend's parents. But I didn't. So he was angry. After I delivered his opinion to my girlfriend, she got angry. Because of my chain of fault, I was in an awkward situation between my girlfriend and father. To fix the problem, I asked for his forgiveness firstly. I told my mistake and delivered her opinion to my father. And I asked for her forgiveness secondly. After this, everything became quite. At this situation, I realized that if I have fault, I should ask for their forgiveness firstly.

 

문법 & 문장 교정


  • Susan cannot go to New York University because it didn't accept Susan
  • I didn't know see you here.
    • BETTER I didn't know I will see you here.
  • I studied hard for searching a job.
    • BETTER I hit the books to search for a job. (SIMILAR)

 

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